Be careful who you allow in your life!

As I sit in my home, with the windows open and the ocean breeze is coming through, I am thinking about the people I allow into my life. I have read the book, called the Energy Bus, by Jon Gordon that says that you should only allow people on your bus, that you think are going in the direction you want in life. You are not careful, you will allow Energy Vampires on the bus. I have not been careful over the past two years of who I allow to come on the ride. I have allowed Drama Queens and people with bad attitudes, like they sucked a lemon, onto my bus. I have a vision and a direction that I am going in. I want Goal Oriented, Positive, Focus Driven people in my life, to help me to achieve my goals and for me to help them with theirs.

Now, I have heard it said, that you become the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with. Are you picking wisely? Are you picking people who cause drama, or those who inspire you? Are you picking people who build you up or tear you down? It is time for me to pick wisely....

If you are looking for a great book to read...The Energy Bus by Jon Gordon is a great read and I highly recommend it....

Crystal Clear Vision....

As I sit here having my Morning Coffee and dusting the cobwebs from the mind after a good night sleep, I am thinking about the story of Florence Chadwick. Who is Florence Chadwick? She is swimmer just like Diana Nyad, who swam the English Channel in both directions, that in 1952 stepped off Catalina Island with the intentions of swimming all the way to California. The day that she stepped into the water, there was a heavy fog, and with just 1/2 mile to the shore she begged to be taken into the boat. After the swim, she said that if she had seen the shore, she would have pushed through and made it to shore. 

Now, what does that mean to everyday life you might ask? Think about it...How many of us have a clear path or a crystal clear goal that we are trying to reach? If she had seen the shore she would have truly made it to her goal but because she could not see it, she did not. I think every morning, we need to take 5 minutes to see in our mind, what the goal is that we are trying to reach. When times get tough, we need to reach back and visualize what we are trying to achieve. We all face adversity when trying to reach a goal but with a crystal clear vision, we can achieve it. 

 

Be specific in what you want...

In the past two months I have been thinking...I have set goals and achieved those goals....
I have heard it said that Goals need to be S.M.A.R.T.

Specific
Measurable
Achievable
Realistic
Time Based

That you need to sit down and write out each goal and an action plan with what you want. One thing though, you need to be as specific as possible in what you want. You can't set a goal of saying I want to be thinner, or richer, or I want to spend more time with friends, or I want an assistant. You need to sit down and think...and be as specific as possible. Like, saying I want to weight 155 pounds with a 32 inch waist, etc...I want to save 5,000 dollars in the bank by Dec 31st 2013 and be investing it in..., I want spend on night a week without technology on a date night with my love...this list can go on and on...But, the more specific you are with a goal and you set an action plan for getting there, the more likely it is to happen!

Life does give you want you want if you as specific as possible and set an action plan to it...One little tip...on Being specific...close your eyes...when setting a goal and imagine in your mind, what exactly you want. Use your imagination! Then write it down and set an action plan!

Jeffrey R. Carlson

Are you a Wrecker or a Builder?

I saw this Poem Today and I thought...

Are you a builder or a Wrecker?

I watched them tearing a building down,
A gang of men in a busy town…
With a ho-heave-ho and a lusty yell,
They swung a beam and a side-wall fell!
I asked the foreman: “Are these men skilled...?
...the men you would hire if you had to build?”
And he, with a laugh, said, “NO INDEED!”
“Just Common Labor is All I Need!”
“I can easily wreck in a day or two…
what builders have taken years to do.”
And I thought to myself as I went away,
“Which of these roles have I tried to play?”
“Am I a builder who works with care
Measuring life by the rule and square?
Am I shaping my deeds to a well-made plan…
Patiently doing the best I can?
(OR) Am I a wrecker who walks the town…
Content with the labor of “Tearing Down?”

Author Unknown

Now, Do you Build Up or Tear Down? 

What does this poem say to you?

Listening is an attitude of the heart...

I have been thinking lately alot about communication...I am a Realtor and I have to listen and see between the lines of what a Buyer or a Seller is saying. I have set a verbal goal for a buyer by asking the question, lets imagine it is 90 days past the closing and you are sitting in your new home, please describe in much detail where you are living and what is your new home like. With a Seller, I ask the question, what is the biggest fear or concern when it comes to selling your home. I ask Open Ended questions to help them help me with their needs and mirror back to them what I heard...

One thing I have noticed lately, is a drift, of our society not to ask Open Ended questions. The type of questions, to see what is going on under the surface. Questions such as:

1. Tell me something about you I don't know...?
2. Tell something this week or this day that happened that you want to talk about?
3. How have I been as a friend, a family member, or lover?

I think this all has to do with the technology we are growing used to. We want things to be said quickly and shortly. We want straight to the point. We want our communication to be like text messages or twitter statuses. Now, with friendships, family, relationships, and anything that matters, we need to slow down and truly the questions that provoke a thoughtful insightful response..Truly listen...This helps to help both people to be heard and for the relationship to grow.  Also, when you do spend time with people that matter and you are communicating in a way to build a relationship, a friendship, or a family member...TURN OFF the PHONE! It can wait...If you cared enough for the person you are talking to, show them a little consideration to turn off the phone or at least turn it on silent..If it dings, ignore it till the other person says it ok to go respond to the phone. My biggest pet peeve over the last year, is that when I am communicating, and I am expressing myself, hearing the ding, and the other person going to check the Facebook status, text message, or anything else on the Smart Phone. yes, I have been guilty of this...but no more!

Garbage in...Garbage out...Put the good stuff in...Get the good stuff out...

Been thinking today...

I have been listening to Zig Ziglar today and thinking to his home spun wisdom with a southern drawl and I heard something...Garbage in ...Garbage out...put the good stuff in...and of course, you get the good stuff out. He says that Intake is extremely important in life.

I have heard this from many different speakers and authors...that what steps are you taking by reading, listening, and watching T.V. or movies for means of improving your life? What books are you reading to help you with your goals? What audio books are you listening to in the car or on your audio devise...What movies or TV watching are you doing? 

Now, I have been extremely guilty...I watch some of stuff that puts the bad stuff in...and wonder at times, where some of the stuff that comes out of mouth, or my actions come from...It's because of some of the stuff I watch or listen to. I will admit, through an trauma in 1992, I have a hard time with reading but I am going to commit to reading at least a half hour a day to reading...Did you understand that...Daily...I am going to put the good stuff in...

These are the books I am going to read before the end of the year...

1. Over the Top---Zig Ziglar
2. What to say when you talk to yourself--Shad Helmstetter
3. Smart Talk for achieving your potential--Lou Tice
4. The Richest Man in Babylon---George Clason
5. Think and grow rich---Napoleon Hill
6. The greatest salesman in the world---Og Mandino
7. Success Principals---Jack Canfield

A great quote that I know by Jim Rohn...

"Formal education will make you a living; self-education will make you a fortune." 

I believe success leaves a road map and that map can be found through reading...

What books do you recommend to read? What books will you commit to read by the end of the year to help you with your goals..? and would anyone like to be my accountability partner and check in with me at the end of the year to make sure I read these books :)

Jeffrey R. Carlson

 

National Suicide Day is This Tuesday...

In most cases, suicide is a solitary event and yet it has often far-reaching repercussions for many others. It is rather like throwing a stone into a pond; the ripples spread and spread.

ALISON WERTHEIMER

One thing that I have learned, is that sometimes our biggest scars, is where we can draw our biggest strength and help others by what we have gone through. I have it called the Wounded Warrior. Where our wounds, can help us to impact the lives of those who are going through what you have gone through.

Now, why am I talking about suicide? Tuesday is National Suicide Awareness Day across the world.  I have seen the affects in my family, my life and what it does to others. My Cousin, Charles Hundley went down into the basement in Chicago back in 1999, and shot himself in the head. I saw my best friend, lose his brother, by the same method back in 2012. I have seen the ripples across the pond by the people they left behind. Now, in the past, I have tried to kill myself...I have tried suicide..I did a overdose...I tried to slit my wrists, and for some reason I am still here. I have known 7 people who have left here by there own means.

For some reason, I am still here...I do not know why God has spared me when I see others die. Last month, I almost got to the point of doing it again. There has been 4 points in my life where I have either got to the point or tried it. Why am I opening up about this...?? Because Suicide is something that I feel is not a topic that is discussed. I know that we all get depressed and get to the end of rope, but for some it goes why beyond that...I feel that we as a society, we need to listen. I heard it said that "Listening is a Attitude of the Heart" We need to listen more and look for the warning signs. Suicide is not where a person says at this current moment, I want to die..it is like a slow car crash...

I saw this on Web MD as the warning signs...

Warning signs that someone may be thinking about or planning to commit suicide include:

Warning signs that someone may be thinking about or planning to commit suicide include:

• Always talking or thinking about death
• Clinical depression -- deep sadness, loss of interest, trouble sleeping and eating -- that gets worse
• Having a "death wish," tempting fate by taking risks that could lead to death, such as driving fast or running red lights
• Losing interest in things one used to care about
• Making comments about being hopeless, helpless, or worthless
• Putting affairs in order, tying up loose ends, changing a will
• Saying things like "it would be better if I wasn't here" or "I want out"
• Sudden, unexpected switch from being very sad to being very calm or appearing to be happy
• Talking about suicide or killing one's self
• Visiting or calling people to say goodbye

Please, if you see any of these warning signs, sit down and listen, ask open ended questions...get help for them...Suicide is preventable...I do not want to see another death due to this.

On Tueday, wear yellow or write Love across you wrists for those who are going through this or those who have lost there lives... Visit http://www.iasp.info/wspd/ for more information reagrding Tuesday and Suicide prevention. 

Thank you for reading this.

Jeffrey Carlson