Listening is an attitude of the heart...

I have been thinking lately alot about communication...I am a Realtor and I have to listen and see between the lines of what a Buyer or a Seller is saying. I have set a verbal goal for a buyer by asking the question, lets imagine it is 90 days past the closing and you are sitting in your new home, please describe in much detail where you are living and what is your new home like. With a Seller, I ask the question, what is the biggest fear or concern when it comes to selling your home. I ask Open Ended questions to help them help me with their needs and mirror back to them what I heard...

One thing I have noticed lately, is a drift, of our society not to ask Open Ended questions. The type of questions, to see what is going on under the surface. Questions such as:

1. Tell me something about you I don't know...?
2. Tell something this week or this day that happened that you want to talk about?
3. How have I been as a friend, a family member, or lover?

I think this all has to do with the technology we are growing used to. We want things to be said quickly and shortly. We want straight to the point. We want our communication to be like text messages or twitter statuses. Now, with friendships, family, relationships, and anything that matters, we need to slow down and truly the questions that provoke a thoughtful insightful response..Truly listen...This helps to help both people to be heard and for the relationship to grow.  Also, when you do spend time with people that matter and you are communicating in a way to build a relationship, a friendship, or a family member...TURN OFF the PHONE! It can wait...If you cared enough for the person you are talking to, show them a little consideration to turn off the phone or at least turn it on silent..If it dings, ignore it till the other person says it ok to go respond to the phone. My biggest pet peeve over the last year, is that when I am communicating, and I am expressing myself, hearing the ding, and the other person going to check the Facebook status, text message, or anything else on the Smart Phone. yes, I have been guilty of this...but no more!